Choosing Yourself Is Not Selfish — It’s Sacred
A Butterfly upon Angel’s Wings Safety Guide
Escape Guide to Safely Leaving a Domestic Violence Situation
Leaving an abusive relationship is one of the hardest and most dangerous steps a survivor can
take. You are not alone, help and support are available. Your safety is the top priority. If you
ever feel threatened or in immediate danger, call 911 right away if it is safe to do so.
Recognize the Signs:
Abuse is not only physical it can be emotional, verbal, financial, or spiritual.
If you feel afraid of your partner, are being isolated from family or friends,
your partner controls your money, choices, or body, it may be abuse.
Safe Words:
Choose a code word with family/friends so they know when to call for help.
Escape Routes: Know at least two exits from your home. Avoid rooms with weapons
(kitchen, garage) if violence escalates.
Use Technology Safely:
Abusers may track your phone, computer, or social media.
Use a safe device (library computer, friend’s phone) to research resources or communicate.
Change passwords often and disable location sharing.
Remember:
Leaving is a process, not a one-time event. It is normal to feel afraid, conflicted, or uncertain.
Your safety, dignity, and freedom are worth it.
You do not have to walk this journey alone, help is available to you.
Choosing Yourself Is Not Selfish ~ It’s Sacred.
Build a Support Network:
• Identify trusted friends, family, coworkers, or faith leaders you can confide in.
• Save hotline numbers in a safe place, or memorize them.
• Greater Charlotte Hope Line (24/7): 980-771-4673
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
• The Umbrella Center: www.umbrellacenter.org/services
Document the Abuse:
• Keep a journal of incidents with dates, times, and details (if safe to do so).
• Save threatening texts, emails, or voicemails.
• Seek medical care for injuries and request records.
When You’re Ready to Leave:
• Leave when your abuser is not home, if possible.
• Take your emergency bag and go directly to a safe location:
• Safe Alliance Shelter (Charlotte): 980-771-4673 (601 East 5th Street #400)
• Atrium Health Domestic Violence Services: 704-446-3999
• Call 911 if you are in immediate danger
Mecklenburg County
If you are in Mecklenburg County and need immediate shelter or support, call
Safe Alliance’s 24-Hour Hotline at 980-771-4673.
Create a Safety Plan:
Emergency Bag: Pack an extra set of clothes, IDs, cash or prepaid card, medications, keys,
important documents (birth certificates, social security cards, protective orders). Keep it
hidden or with someone you trust.
Know Your Legal Rights:
You may qualify for a Domestic Violence Protective Order (DVPO / “50B Order”) in North
Carolina.
Local agencies like Safe Alliance and Legal Aid of North Carolina can help file paperwork and
represent you in court.
After You Leave:
Consider changing your phone number and secure your home.
Update your workplace and children’s school with a copy of your protective order, if you have
one.
Get counseling and connect with a support group to begin healing.